For heaven's sake

Hollywood doesn't seem to know when to stop. After the terrible Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief, now we have to bear with another sub-par take on Greek epic Clash of the Titans. Please stop already, at least until you find a legend you don't feel the perverse urge to dumb down for the lowest common denominator, satisfying no one.

Clash of the Titans is a loose remake of the 1981 film of the same time, and an even looser retelling of the legendary events that supposedly inspired either film. What a mess it has been.

Granted, I didn't expect to be, having sat through the hot pap that were Troy and Alexander. I assumed I'd get more of the same: scantily clad babes of both genders, tedious battle scenes and cheesy dialogue. And that is exactly what I got. At it's best, Clash of the Titans is mildly diverting and a bit scary. At its worse it's tedious and badly edited. Overall, it's forgettable.

The film opens with a Star Wars-esque galaxy intro, foreshadowing the unconvincing father-son theme. Bond Girl Gemma Arterton's cut-glass voice-over offers the Cliff Notes' version of the Titans' legend, explaining how it has led to man's present-day (well, Ancient Greece present-day) dissatisfaction with the gods. All seems doom and gloom.

Luckily, also like in Star Wars, there is one man that will change all that: Perseus (Sam Worthington). We first encounter our hero as a baby when kindly fisherman Spyros (Pete Postelthwaite) fishes him out the sea. Perseus and his adoptive family have a simple, salt-of-the-earth sort of life until they are caught in a fatal crossfire between blasphemous men and vengeful gods, spurring the young man's predestined journey to save the world.

As usual, this film's director and screenwriter have taken huge liberties with the source material. There's nothing wrong with that in itself, as legends, by their nature, are open to interpretation, but the "artistic licence" exercised serves no purpose - the story hasn't become more compelling for the screen, and in fact the film could have been quite improved if they had stuck more closely to the widely accepted versions of the myths.

Taking the lion's share of screen-time, with mixed success is Worthington, Arterton as the ageless Io, Alexa Davalos as Andromeda, Liam Neeson's Zeus, Ralph Fiennes' Hades, Jason Flemyng as Acrisius/Calibos and Mads Mikkelson as Draco, leader of the Praetorian Guard.

As Perseus, Worthington lacks charisma and it is hard to care what happens to him. He comes across as unnecessarily stubborn, rather than a reluctant hero attempting to hold onto his humanity in light of a divine fate (which I suppose the oft-repeated line "I must do this as a man" was meant to convey).

Arterton looks very elegant, and heartbreakingly sad where she shares terrible stories of the gods various manoeuvres, but her vibes with Worthington are all wrong, hovering between mum and love interest (although perhaps that was an intentional tribute to Oedipus).

Davalos is similarly easy on the eyes, but she's given little to do other than distribute alms (signifying her as a nice person) and dangle haplessly in front of a sea monster.

Neeson and Fiennes seem to be having fun hamming it up as gods, which is probably why they signed up for this exercise in mediocrity (the fat paycheck likely didn't hurt either). Neeson appears bemused by the proceedings, while Fiennes is drawing on his Voldemort creepiness. The adequately menacing Flemyng also gets to draw on a prior role - Jekyll from The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

Mikkelson is impressively beefy, and stops short of taking himself too seriously, which makes him fun to watch. Rounding out the support effectively, as part of Perseus' crew, is Hans Matheson, Nicholas Hoult and Liam Cunningham, and some other chaps that were amusing but I have no idea who they are any more.

That's the main problem, really. Clash of the Titans has an impressive, extensive cast list, most of which are woefully underused, or aren't even named until they're dying. It's difficult to feel sad about someone dying a horrible death if you don't even know what their name is.

Monsters get better treatment than the humans, with an array of gruesome beasties providing most of the thrills, from a hand scorpion and trio of hideous hags to the slithery Medusa (Natalia Vodianova) and the massive Kraken. They blend in well with the largely pleasing backdrop. Unfortunately, the convincing CGI emphasizes the ludicrous depiction of Mt. Olympus, which seems to be the same set used in low-budget 1980s films about reincarnation.

The uneven acting and special effects are in line with the film as a whole. Clash of the Titans seems unsure of it wants to play it straight or be a fun, campy affair, and in the end, it's neither.

You'd think Greek mythology would be great fodder for Hollywood spectacles. Those gods were very frisky, with all the vanity, warfare, scheming, adultery, fornication, murder and wonderfully self-fulfilling prophecies. The studios appear to think so too... so why do they keep getting it so wrong?

Verdict: Overblown epic that manages to be both dumb and confusing - only partially redeemed by occasional humor and fabulous monsters.

Clash of the Titans (Warner Bros, 118 minutes)

Directed by Louis Leterrier

Produced by Basil Iwanyk, Kevin De La Noy, Richard D. Zanuck

Written by Lawrence Kasdan, Travis Beacham, Phil Hay, Matt Manfredi

Starring Sam Worthington, Mads Mikkelsen, Alexa Davalos, Danny Huston, Gemma Arterton, Pete Postelthwaite, Ralph Fiennes, Liam Neeson

Source : The Jakarta Post