Dealing with children who steal

I usually find it very interesting to observe parents each time they talk about their children. Their facial expressions are characterised with a certain sense of pride and joy especially when they boast about their children's achievements.

These achievements need not be anything like winning the Nobel Prize for one to note these emotions that effortlessly brim to the surface when parents share positive aspects of their children's lives.

They range from a child learning to feed himself; to constructing a full sentence and other normal things which children do but still considered to be special by their parents.

However, few are the times that parents would take the time to discuss their children's negative attributes with colleagues, friends or relatives. After all, is it not a parent's duty to love, protect and cherish their child through all the good and bad times?

In spite of this, parents may time and again be compelled to speak out if their child's negative behaviour gets out of hand.

Which brings me to our topic for today, stealing. Many people are serving jail terms today because of stealing and many more continue to appear in our courts of law over the same.

Unfortunately, we never give much attention to this unsavoury vice unless we are affected either directly or indirectly.

One of the more common problems that parents face, but that nobody likes to talk about, is what to do when your child steals.

I have had things stolen from me both by known and unknown people and there is nothing pleasant about the experience. When things are stolen from you, a thief puts you in the frustrating situation of parting away with your possessions involuntarily. So if your child starts stealing from within and outside the home you should get concerned.

Children steal for various reasons but you should bear in mind that very young children sometimes take things they want without understanding that they cost money and that it is wrong to take something without asking for it.

Other than that, experts remain adamant that young children do not steal. This they claim is due to the fact that, children below the age of four or five do not have a concept of ownership. They do not understand that it is wrong to take things that belong to others and as such should not be labelled as thieves.

As they get older however, they should know they are not supposed to take something without asking or paying for it, but various psychologists say they might do so anyway because they lack enough self-control.

A child may take something although he knows that stealing is wrong simply because he cannot help himself. As a parent, you have to give your child the ability to get what he wants in an honest way.

But one thing you can count on is that preteens and teenagers know they are not supposed to steal, but might steal for the thrill of it or because their friends do. Peer pressure is a reality that you cannot afford to ignore, so you should always bear in mind that sometimes children are pulled after what their friends do. If the child is with a group of children that feel stealing is exciting, the child may steal to be part of the group or to show bravery to friends.

In other instances, some simply believe they can get away with it.
Others just steal as a way of rebelling as they are given more control over their lives.

And whether you want to hear this or not, in a good number of cases, children steal because parents cannot afford to pay for what they want or need.

Children are largely dependent on their parents for most of their needs. A child who feels that his needs are not being met will eventually take the matter into his own hands and the easiest way for a child to do this is to take what he needs without asking or paying for it.

Having looked at some of the reasons children steal, the question still remains as to what a parent should do when their child starts to steal.
Experts suggest that with very young children, parents need to help them understand that stealing is wrong - that when you take something without asking or paying for it, it hurts someone else.

As for teenagers and older children, it is recommended that parents follow through with stricter consequences. Whenever possible, ensure they return the stolen property to the rightful owner.

The embarrassment of facing up to what they did by having to return a stolen item makes for an everlasting lesson on why stealing is wrong.

However, parents should really be cautious on this as any temptation to engage further punishment such as physical punishment, is deemed unnecessary and could make the child angry and more likely to engage in even worse behaviour.

And no matter how hard it is, never imply that your child is bad. Only stealing is bad, not the child. Do not call your child a thief, dishonest, or a liar or any other name that you do not want him to become. When you give your child a label, he will grow to fit that label.

Be a role model to your child. Children learn by watching their parents. You should show concern about the property rights of others if you expect them to do the same.

And as we conclude, take it from research experts and psychologists who indicate that stealing is a common problem. As a parent, you should view it like any other mistake your child makes. It is something that has to be corrected, but do not take it as anything more than that. If you handle it properly, you can correct this problem quickly and easily.

However, if a child keeps stealing, consider getting professional help. Repeat offences may indicate a bigger problem.




Source : www.zambiapost.com